Why Me?
by Providencelover
Summary: When Jamie and Landon go to home to NC Jamie starts having horrible headaches. Will Jamie be able to hold on long enough to find out whats wrong with her? chapter one in Landon's POV chapter two in Jamie's POV. r/r. NO FLAMES PLEASE!!
1. Default Chapter

Why Me?   
  
Summery: On the way to North Carolina to visit family and friends Jamie begins to have horrible headaches. Will the headaches go away or could this be something more serious? Chapter one in Landon's POV. Their baby Jenna is two months old. Aslo features the cast from the show Providence.   
  
The soft breeze blew in my face as I trudged up the walk to our home in Providence, Rhode Island. We'd recently moved there almost elven months ago after I'd gotten accepted to Brown to study medicine. I was a 2nd year med student and was hoping to find a cure for cancer, the horrible disease that almost took my sweet Jamie. I walked into the house and immediately the sound of a baby crying met my ears. I walked toward's the nursery and went into find Jamie sitting in the rocking chair trying to feed her. She looekd up at me and gave me a smile. I went over and kissed her.   
'Is she fussy?" I asked. Jamie nodded. She looked tired and hadn't been feeling well lately. I was worried that she would get sick and with her history of Cancer I ddn't want to take that risk.   
"She'll calm down soon," Jamie said in a soothng voice. As if by magic Jenna stopped crying. 'There now big girl its OK. Shh." Jenna soon fell asleep in Jamie's arms and i took her from Jamie. Jamie stood up. "How was your day?"   
"Long," I replied as I placed Jenna gently in her crib. "Are you glad to be going home?" Jamie and I were going back to North Carolina for a few days to see old friends and to show off Jenna to my mother and Jamie's father.   
"Yes," Jamie said. "I think Joanie will survive without me for a few days." Joanie Hansen and her sister Syd and her dad Jim lived next door to us and Syd had delivered Jenna. They were like family to us instead of neighobors. We met them when we'd first moved here and I couldn't believe how much time had gone by.   
Jamie walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, putting a hand to her forehead. She looked a little pale and that worried me. I sat down beside her and she rested her head on my shoulder, like she'd done many times before. "Are you OK?"   
"I'm fine just tired," Jamie answered softly. She looked up at me, her big brown eyes sparkling. "Just a little headache don't worry it'll go away."   
I nodded and didn't say anything. Jamie had had this headache the past few days and this was no ordinory headache. "Jamie its been going on like this for the past three days I really think you should ask Syd about it."   
"Landon I'm exhausted," Jamie said. "I haven't gotten much sleep in the last two months." She looked at me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get mad I'm just tired."   
"Why don't you go rest," I suggested. I helped her stand up and led her back to our room. She got on the bed and I kissed her on the forehead. It reminded me of the time I'd spent with her in the hospital when I'd first found out she was sick. I sat there for a while watching her sleep, remembering all the times we'd spent together back home in North Carolina when I thought Jamie was a nobody and now was the most important person in my life.   
  
Jamie slept for almost three hours. I was siting in the living room talking to my mother on the phone when she sat down beside me.   
"Hey Mom I gotta go," I said and quickly hung up. Lucky for me Jenna was still asleep. I turned to her and looked into her eyes. She still looked tired and dazed. 'Feel better?'   
'Much," Jamie said but i could see right through her. She didn't look like she felt good at all. She gave me a quick kiss and stood up. "I'll make dinner."   
"I already ate," I told her.   
"Oh," Jamie said disappointment in her voice. She put a hand to her forehead.   
'Jamie come sit down," I said. She came over to me and I put my arms arund her kissing her on the top of the head. 'Are you sure you're feeling OK?"   
"I'm fine Landon," Jamie said convinling. "Being tired just comes with the price of being a mother."   
"I don't think that's it Jamie," I told her. "You've had a headache for three straight days. Please Jamie don't shut me out."   
Jamie sighed. "Landon I don't want you to worry whenever I get a headache. My cancer is never coming back Landon, I'm not going anywhere."   
"I know," I whispered. I put her head in my hands. "But i don't want anything to happen to you. You are the love of my life Jamie and Jenna is lucky to have you for a mother."   
Jamie smiled. "That's very sweet but honestly I'm fine."   
I nodded and Jamie leaned her head on my shoulder. We sat there for a while like that and it reminded me of that night in the graveyard when I'd named a star after her. Jamie soon fell asleep in my arms. I reached over with my free hand and picked up the phone. I dialed Syd's number and Joanie answered on the third ring.   
"Hello?" Joanie asked.   
"Joanie its me," I said. "Is Syd home by any chance?"   
"Yeah hold on Landon," Joanie said. I heard her put the phone down and I waited. A few seconds later Syd came on the line.   
"Landon?" Syd asked, her voice full of concern. "Is everything OK?"   
"Not really," I whispered. "Jamie's still having the headaches but she's being stubburn. She slept for three hours today and just fell asleep in my arms. Could you please come over here and check her out?'   
'I'll be right there," Syd said and hung up.   
I put the phone down and stroked Jamie's back. I looked out the window, the leaves blowing softly against the wind. "God I can't lose her, please let her be all right."   
Then I heard the door open and heard footsteps.   
"How is she?" Syd whispered. "Jamie?"  
Jamie opened her eyes and looked a little shocked to find Syd standing over her. "Syd? What are you doing here?"   
"Landon got worried about you so he called me," Syd said. She helped Jamie sit up. "Are the headaches any better?"   
Jamie shook her head. "No, not really. Could you give me something? I don't want to be feeling bad when we go home tomorrow."   
"Sure," Syd said. She pulled out a bottle from her bag. "Take this it should make you feel better in a few hours."  
"Thank you," Jamie whispered.   
"I'll get you something to drink," I said and got up. I walked toward the kitchen and filled a glass with water. I could hear Jamie talking to Syd in the other room. Then the phone rang. I reached for it wonderng who could be calling us. "Hello?"   
"Landon its Rev Sullivan," Jamie's father said.   
"Hi Rev," I replied. "Jamie and I will be there tomorrow night. Syd is over here now."   
"Is she feeling better?" Rev Sullivan asked. "She told me about the headaches a few days ago."   
'Syd just gave her something," I said. "I have to go so we'll see you tomorrow." I hung up and went back into the living room. Jamie was lying back against the couch her eyes closed. "Syd left?"   
"Yes," she replied. She looked at me. "Who was on the phone?"   
"Your father," I told her as I handed her the glass of water. She took it and swollowed the pill without difficulty. I sat down beside her.   
"Everything is going to be all right Landon," she whispered. we shared a brief kiss. "Nothing is going to take me away from you."   
I leaned in for another kiss and the kiss lasted for a long time. When we finally broke away I noticed Jamie had tears in her eyes. I touched her cheek waiting for her to tell me what was wrong.   
"Jamie what's wrong?" I finally asked after a few seconds.   
Jamie looked down. "Landon we haven't been home since Jenna was born. You know how people looked at us and at me. What if they talk about Jenna too. I don't want her growing up thinking people hate her."   
"People do not hate you," I said stroking her hair. "People change Jamie and they're going to love Jenna."   
Jamie smiled she seemed pleased with my answer. She stood up and stretched. "I think I'll go start packing while Jenna is alseep."   
I followed her into our bedroom. Jamie got the suit cases out and stood for a moment in her closet. She finally pulled out a jean dress and looked at me. "Remember this?" she finally asked me.   
I looked at it. It was the dress she'd warn on the day she'd told me she was sick. "Yes."   
Jamie threw it on the bed. "That thing goes."   
I smiled at her and gently kissed her on the cheek. We were finally going home together, like it was meant to be.   
  
The next morning we woke up at six in order to get to the airport in time. We were flying into Atlanta and then driving the four hours to North Carolina. Jamie looked tired and still a little pale but I didn't say anything. She was silent as we loaded the car and got Jenna ready. Syd came to say goodbye since she had to be at work early anyway.   
"Drive safelty," Syd said. She gave Jamie a hug.   
"We will," Jamie told her. "I gave you the number to my father's house right?"   
"Yes," Syd answered.   
I came down the steps carrying Jenna in her car seat. Syd bent down to her.   
"Bye sweet girl be good for mommy and daddy," Syd cooed.   
I saw Jamie look in my direction and I smiled.   
"Well we'd better go," Jamie finally said. "Give Hannah a kiss for me."   
'I will," Syd promised.   
Jamie, Jenna and I loaded everything into the car and backed out of the driveway. The flight lasted about four hours and Jamie slept the whole way there. Around noon we arrived at the Atlanta airport and rented a car.   
"Landon I think we need to stop," Jamie suddenly said. We'd been in the car for about an hour. I looked at her, a concerned expression on my face. She looked as if she were going to pass out any moment. I pulled over on the side of the road and she got out. I took Jenna out of her carrior.   
'Jamie what's wrong?" I asked.   
"I'm just really hot and my head is kiling me," Jamie said. "I took a pill this morning but it doesn't seem to be helping anymore."   
I looked at her. Her eyes looked glazed and her cheeks were red. She put a hand to her forehead and leaned against the car.   
"I'm sorry Landon," Jamie said sobbing. "I didn't mean to make this a horrible trip for you."   
I embraced her and kissed her on the cheek. "You didn't." Then Jenna started crying. "I think she's hungry."   
Jamie smiled and we got back into the car. Jamie sat in back, the air conditioning blowing on her full blast. By the time we reached Bueafued it was almost dark. I pulled up in front of Jamie's old house and we just sat there for a moment.   
"OK I'm ready," Jamie whispered. She got out of the car and walked slowly toward the house. She practically ran up the teps, leaving me and Jenna behind. The door flew open and I saw Jamie collaspe into her father's arms.   
"Landon," Rev Sullivan said. "Welcome."   
"Thank you sir," I said. I sitll call him sir even though we've been family for almost five years.   
"Come on in," Rev. said. "I want to see this grandchild of mine. Jamie she looks like you everday."   
Jamie smiled and walked into the living room. "It hasn't changed at all dad."   
Rev. Sullivan sat down on the couch with Jenna. "Its so good to see you two here. Landon I think your mother wants to see you."   
"OK," I said.   
"You go I'll stay here," Jamie said. "I'm really tired."   
"OK," I said. I kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the house. As i walked down the street memories came flooding back to me. I remembered the time I'd driven Jamie home after the incident with the flyers and then after our many dates.   
'Its like the wind I can't see it but I can feel it," she'd said to me. I walked past the bridge toward my house. The streets were dark and deserted. The bridge was where we'd had our first kiss and when she'd opened up to me. I'd never forgotten that moment. I walked up the steps and rang the bell. Funny how after you move away and you come back, things always seem different yet there're still the same.   
"Landon," mom said when she opened the door. We hugged. "Where's Jame?"   
"Back at her house," I said. The words felt weird coming out of my mouth I hadn't said them in so long. "With her dad and Jenna."   
"I want to see that daughter of yours," mom said. Mom hadn't been able to come to Providence when Jenna had been born so she hadn't seen her that. 'Jamie sent me a picuture but its just not the same."   
"Well let's go see her then," I said with a smile.   
"Great," mom said. She closed the door and we walked back toward Jamie's house.   
"So how's school?" mom asked trying to break the silence that had fallen between us.   
"Going good," I said. "Jamie works at our neighbors Bakery called Joanie's Barkery. And Joanie has a sister Syd whose a doctor and she has a clinic which I've been helping out at."   
"Good," mom said. 'We miss you here Landon you and Jamie."   
"I miss it too mom but Jamie and I are very happy in Providence," I said. I wanted to add "and we're not reminded that people hated Jamie." but i didn't. I kept my mouth shut. When we walked into the house i heard Jamie talking to her father.   
'Hi Ms. Carter," Jamie said kindly.   
"Jamie she's adorable," mom said referring to Jenna.   
"Thank you," Jamie said smiling. "Would you like to hold her?"   
Mom took Jenna from Jamie and sat down on the couch with her. "She loosks exactly like you Landon."   
"She looks more like Jamie," I said. I sat down beside Jamie and put an arm around her. I was finally surrounded by the people I loved.   
  
Mom stayed over for dinner at Jamie's house and then they stayed in the kitchen cleaining up and watching Jenna while Jamie and I retreated to the porch. We sat on the swing.   
"I remember that night you gave me the sweater," Jamie said She gazed into my eyes. "My father wasn't too happy."   
I smiled and put an arm around her. She leaned her head on my shoulder. Suddenly she sat up as if in pain.   
"Landon?" she gasped She reached for my hand and squeezed it.   
"Jamie what's wrong?" I asked, panicked.   
She didn't answer for what seemed like forever. Finally she said," My head its killing me. Landon I can barely stand to open my eyes."   
I lifted her up and helped her inside. Tears were coming down her cheeks. I laid her down on the couch.   
"What's wrong?" Rev. asked coming into the room with Jenna on his shoulder. "Jamie what's wrong?"   
Jamie didn't respond. It was like she'd quit talking. She looked around the room, as if searching for something.   
"Jamie say something please," I begged. I knelt down beside her and got right in her face. "Jamie what's wrong?"   
Jamie looked as if she wanted to speak but couldn't. I looked at my mom with a pleading look in my eyes. Finally I knew what i had to do. "Mom call 911."   
Mom looked at me and picked up the phone. It seemed like three hours had gone by until we finally heard hte sirens of the ambulance. Jamie had lost all consciousness by then and the paramedics hooked her up to IV's and gave her oxygen. I sat by her holding her hand. The ambulance ride seemed to last forever. Finally we reached the ER and Jamie was rushed through some double doors.   
"I'm sorry Landon you need wait out here," Dr. Pollard said. "Don't worry we're doing all we can for Jamie."   
I watched him go into the trauma room. My Jamie my sweet loving Jamie was being taken away from me and there was nothing I could do. I went over and sat down on the bench and put my hands in my lap. "Dear God please don't let her die. Its not her time to go."   
'Landon?" a voice very familiar whispered. I looked up to see Belinda standing over me, dressed in a green uniform.   
"Belinda," I said looking up. I stood up and gave her a hug. "How are you?"   
'Good," Belinda said. "I'm a nurse in training if you can believe it? I saw Jamie being wheeled in."   
"They don't know what's wrong with her," I said looking toward the trauma room. "She started having violent headaches three days ago and they wouldn't go away."   
'I'm sorry Landon," Belinda said. "I'm sorry for the way I treated her, for the way we all treated her. She was nothing but nice to her and we treated her like a jerk."   
"Its all in the past now," I said. "Jamie forgives you. We have a daughter now."   
"I know I heard," Belinda said.   
Then we saw Dr. Pollard come out of the trauma room.   
"Landon," he called.   
"How is she?" I asked.   
"She's stable now but still very out of it. I'm afraid I have some bad news," Dr. Pollard said.   
I held my breath.   
"I'm afraid Jamie has suffered a sroke."   
I looked at him, shccked. "A stroke? but she's so young."   
"Its rare but it happens," Dr. Pollard explained. "The left side of her body is paralyzed. She's having trouble talking right now and we gave her some medicine to help relax her."   
"Can I see her?" I blurted out.   
"Yes," Dr. Pollard said. He led me into the trauma room where Jamie was. I went in and saw her lying on the bed, IV's and tubes hooked up to her. I walked over and sat down beside her, taking her hand. She looked at me.   
"Hi," I said her forehead. "You had me worried."   
"What's wrong with me?" she asked. Her speech was slurred but I didn't care.   
"You suffered a stroke," I said.   
"I can't feel my left side," Jamie said. She looked down at her arm and then back at me. "Jenna is she...?"   
"She's fine," I said. "My mom has her. You just concentrate on getting better."  
Jamie nodded and closed her eyes. I sat there and then when she was moved to a different room I stayed with her and the next morning I found myself in a chair beside her bed holding her hand. I looked over at her and saw that her eyes were open, staring at me.   
"Hi," she said softly.   
"How are you feeling?" I sat on the edge of the bed and squeezed her hand.   
"I still can't feel my left side," Jamie whispered. "Please don't leave me Landon."   
I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."   
  
To be continued. 


	2. being There For Me

Why me? chapter two: Beng There For Me  
  
I smiled up at Landon. He sat with me for a long time until I finally fell asleep. My whole body felt as if it were on fire and I kept having flash backs of my stay in the hospitals almost five years ealier when I'd battled Cancer. I heard voices as they entered the room but i couldn't make out who they were. My head was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. I only knew that I couldn't feel the left side of my body.  
"Jamie the nurse has to draw your blood," Landon said quietly.  
I winced and grabbed Landon's hand. I've always hated needles it reminds me of my days when I'd be so sick I couldn't move. I buried my head in his chest and he stroked my back.  
"Almost done Jamie," the nurse said. I felt tears come to my eyes as the needle went through me. "All done."  
I must have been holding my breath for when she said those words I felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of me. I opened my eys and looked up at Landon his face full of concern and worry.  
"I know it hurts Jamie," Landon said. He put his arms around me and we laid there like that for a long time. Finally I broke the silence.  
'Thank you," I whispered. "For not giving up on me."  
"You're as stubburn as they come," Landon said. We kissed for a long moment.  
"I guess I didn't want to face that I had another thing wrong with me," I said. I began to feel sleepy again.  
Landon kissed me. "Jamie why don't you rest and I'll go see if Jenna is OK."  
I nodded. I didn't want him to leave but I also didn't want our daughter to feel abandoned. I soon fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
I felt as if the world were turning. I couldn't see and my body wouldn't stop shaking. I felt someone calling my name but I couldn't make out who it was. Landon? I guessed. I hoped with all my heart it was him. I tried to call out to him but couldn't. My mind felt frozen in place and I couldn't break free. Finally after what seemed like years the shakng stopped and the spinning i my head began to decrease. I felt another needle in me but this time I couldn't do anything about it. I heard voices lots of voices andi wanted to call out to them that I was OK but I couldn't. Finally everthing seemed to be in focus and opened my eyes to find Landon, my beloved Landon standing over me.  
"Hi," he said. He took my hand. "You had us worried for a moment there."  
"What happened?" I whispered.  
"You had a seizure," Landon explained. "But you're OK now."  
I nodded. "Landon I'm sorry our vacation was ruined."  
He stroked my hair. "Shh you don't worry about anything but getting better. That's all that matters now."  
I nodded as sleep overtook me once more. Would I be able to survie long enough for the doctors to make me better?  
  
Two weeks went by and the feeling in my left side was starting to return. Landon had called back to Providence to let the Hansen's know what had happened and Syd had flown and driven here to be with me.She stood beside my bed now talking quietly to Landon. I kept my eyes closed not wanting to see the sun that shown in my room.  
"I'll stay with her," I heard Syd say.  
"OK," Landon replied. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. I opened my eyes. "I'll be right back OK?"  
"OK," I answered tiredly.  
"Jamie how are you feeling?" Syd asked me once Landon left the room. She sat down beside me in a chair.  
"Well the feeling in my arm and leg is back," I said. "Is that a good sign?"  
"Yes," Syd said. "In a few weeks you'll be able to start physical therapy."  
"Weeks?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "But it only effected my left side I'll be fine in weeks it won't take that long."  
"A stroke is very serious Jamie," Syd said.  
I looked at her. "Syd what is going,to happen to me?"   
Syd looked at me. "I wish I knew Jamie I really wish I knew."   
Then Landon came back a few minutes later holding Hannah. She ran over to me.   
"Are you better Jamie?" She asked.   
"Yes," I answered. The medication they were giving me was making me very sleepy and I did my best to keep my eyes open.   
Hannah climbed up on the bed beside me. "Don't worry I'll make you better." Hannah gave me a hug and I smiled. I couldn't wait until Jenna was old enough to say that to me.   
"Hannah why don't we let Jamie rest," Syd said.   
"NO I WANT To STAY WITH HER!!" Hannah yelled.   
"OK OK keep your voice down," Syd scolded. She turned to Landon. "I need to go get checked in at a hotel. Could you watch her?"   
"Sure," Landon said.   
Syd waved and walked out of the room. Hannah laid down beside me and I put my arm around her.   
"Jamie I'll be right back," Landon said. "I've got to go use the restroom."  
I nodded sleepily and he walked out of the room. I felt my eyes begin to close and suddenly it felt liek I was spinning in a world pool.   
"Jamie," somone was calling. It sounded a lot like Hannah. I tried to respond but couldn't. Finally I settled into a welcoming darkness. 


	3. I'll never leave you

Chapter three of Why Me?   
  
Chapter three: I will never leave you   
  
I turned around when I heard someone call my name. I went back to the room and found Hannah at the doorway looking scared.   
"Hannah what's wrong?" I asked her.   
"Jamie won't wake up," she said in a scared voice. Her lip started to tremble.   
I went over to the bed. Jamie's breathing had become shallow. "Jamie what's wrong? Jamie talk to me please."   
Jamie didn't respond. I began to panic. I couldn't lose her now, not when everything was so perfect. I turned to Hannah who still looked scared and somewhat confused at what was going on. "Hannah I need you to go get Aunt Syd. Can you do that?"   
Hannah nodded and ran out of the room. I sat by Jamie's bed holding her hand. I began to pray. Then Syd came rushing into the room followed by a nurse and Dr. Pollard.   
"What happened?" Syd asked. She looked as scared as I felt.   
"She was talking to Hannah and I went to use the bathroom and then I heard Hannah scream," I said my voice breaking. "She said she couldn't wake her up."   
"The stroke has probably effected more of her brain," Dr. Pollard said. He listened to Jamie's heart. "Her breathing has become shallow Landon. We need to tube her."   
"No," I said. "I don't want her hooked up to tubes."   
"It's the only way Landon," Syd said. "If we don't Jamie will die."   
I looked at Jamie, struggling to breath.   
"Her pressure is going down Landon her heart could stop. The area of the brain that controls her vital organs is being effected by the stroke. If we don't tube her and try to stop the damage Jamie will die," Dr. Pollard said sternly.   
I nodded, too choked up to answer. I couldn't lose her again, my sweet Jamie. I bent down and kissed her on the cheek and took her hand.   
"You need to stand back Landon," Syd said.   
I stepped back and stood near the window watching as Syd stuck a tube down Jamie's throat. Then I felt someone come up behind me and turned around to see my mom standing there with a worried expression on her face.   
"Come on let's go outside," mom said leading me out the door. I looked back at Jamie. I closed the door and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. Finally I turned to my mom who must have been waiting for me to speak. "Mom I can't lose her, not again. I already almost lost her once. She has a daughter to take care of, she has a life to live. Why is God doing this to me? To her?"   
"Jamie doesn't want you to blame God," mom said. "She'll get through this."   
Then Syd came out into the hallway. "Landon you can see her now."   
"Is she awake?" I asked walking back into the room.   
"We've given her something so she won't try to pull out the tube but she can hear you," Syd said.   
I went over to the bed and sat down in the chair beside it. I took Jamie's hand. "You've got to fight Jamie, you've got to want to live. Please Jamie I can't see you suffer, I won't. Please I can't lose you."   
`Jamie blinked and I smiled. I kissed her hand and gave her a hug, careful not to undo the wires. I knew Jamie wanted to say something I could see it in her eyes but she couldn't. I rubbed her cheek and I thought I saw tears in her eyes. "Shh its OK don't cry. I'm right here Jamie I'm not leaving."   
Jamie seemed to calm down and soon fell asleep. I sat back in the chair and soon I was doing the exact same thing.   
  
The next day Jamie was doing well enough to get off the vent. Dr Pollard and Syd had given her intensive antibiotics to help the swelling and the progression of the stroke. I was with her when they removed the tube.   
"Its Ok," I said gently. I gave her some water and she took it gratefully. She looked up at me.   
"Thank you," she whispered. She gripped my hand. "Please don't leave me."   
I hugged her close. "I won't Jamie, I'm not going anywhere." I sat on the bed with her and Syd raised the bed.   
"I'll leave you two alone," Syd said and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.   
"I was so scared I'd lose you," I said.   
Jamie ran her fingers over my cheek. "You don't have to be scared I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to beat this thing Landon and I'm going to be a good mother to Jenna."   
I kissed her passionately. "I know you will," I whispered.   
She smiled that smile that I fell in love with. "Could you read me a poem from my mother's book?" she laid back down, looking tired.   
I picked up the book that was lying on the table and opened it. "Love is patient, love is always kind..."   
Then the door opened and Dr. Pollard walked in followed by Syd.   
"Jamie we need to talk to you," Dr. Pollard said.   
Jamie looked at him. "What about?"   
"About your recovery," Dr. Pollard said. He sat down in a chair. "You will be ready to start physical therapy soon but first we need to get you better. Infinitely we don't have the tools to do that but there is a specialist in Chicago that will be taking over your case."  
"But Jamie can't travel," I protested.   
"That isn't a problem," Dr. Pollard said. He turned to me. "It seems that your father got wind of this situation Landon and is paying to have a private helicopter transport you, Jamie and Syd to Cook County General in Chicago."   
Jamie and I hugged and I smiled. "Wow."   
"She'll need to get there as quickly as possible. Jamie you're doing well and I'm certain that you'll make a full recovery. Its going to be a lot of work."   
"I know," Jamie said. She squeezed my hand. "But I'm up for the challenge. When do we leave?"   
"Tomorrow," Dr. Pollard said. He stood up. "I'll be making my rounds if you need me and Dr. Hansen will be here if you have any questions."   
"Thank you," Jamie said. She turned to Syd. "So this doctor can make me better?'   
"I believe he can," Syd said with a smile.   
"Please don't tell anyone in the ER," Jamie said. "I don't want them to worry."   
"Too late," Syd said. "I already told Dr. Carter and Susan Lewis. Mark and Kerry weren't there and neither was Elizabeth but I'm sure someone will tell them."   
"Whose Kerry?" Jamie asked.   
"You didn't meet her she was in Africa," Syd said. "But she's back now."   
"Thank you for coming," Jamie said.   
"No problem kiddo you just get better," Syd said. "You have so much to teach that darling little girl of yours."   
Jamie smiled. She turned to me. "Landon can you get our stuff together please?"   
"Sure," I said and stood up. I kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be right back don't go dying on me you hear?"   
"I promise," Jamie said smiling.   
I walked out of the room closing the door behind me. I prayed to God that Jamie would finally be all right.   
  
The next morning Jamie was loaded into the helicopter at nine that morning. She was on a stretcher since she could move hardly and I got in with her along with Syd. It was like a small airplane with enough room for Jamie. I sat beside her holding her hand.   
"Its going to be about a two hour flight," the pilot told us.   
"Landon," Jamie called. She gripped my hand. "I'm feeling nauseas."   
I helped her sit up and looked at Syd.   
"Jamie I'm going to give you some medicine to stop the nausea through your IV OK? Landon lay her back down."   
I laid her back down and rubbed her forehead. She was breathing hard, probably trying to keep from throwing up.   
"Please make it stop," Jamie begged in a panicked voice. "Landon please."   
"Its OK Jamie," Syd said. "The medicine should be working soon."   
I rubbed her forehead. "It'll be OK Jamie."   
"Jenna whose taking care of Jenna?" Jamie said.   
"My mom is don't worry," Landon said. "She's coming on a later flight."   
Jamie nodded and closed her eyes as sleep overtook her. I looked at Syd. "Syd is Jamie ever going to be normal again?"   
Syd looked at Jamie. "Its hard to say Landon."   
I sighed. "She has to be all right she has to."   
  
Around noon I looked out the window and could see we were approachng the hospital. Jamie was asleep and I was holding her hand.   
"Jamie sweetie," I called softly. "We're almost there."   
Jamie nodded and opened her eyes.   
"Dr. Shepard isn't on yet," Syd informed us. "I just called the hospital. There are no beds available so we'll probably have to put you down in the ER for a while."   
"No," Jamie said. "Please."   
"The nurse said a bed should be free soon," Syd said. "A patient just got moved out of ICU."   
Jamie sighed. She gripped my hand as the plane made the landing onto the roof of the hospital. I noticed several doctors waiting for us one of which was Susan Lewis who we'd met the last time we' been in Chicago. The door opened and Jamie was lifted out of the plane.   
"Syd what's going on?" Susan asked as Syd got out of the plane. I got out after her.   
"Jamie suffered a stroke while home in North Carolina," Syd said. "The nurse in ICU told us to wait in the ER until a bed was found."  
"No problem," Susan said. "Hi Jamie how are you feeling?"   
"Tired," Jamie said. "Landon."   
"I'm right here," I said holding her hand.   
"Jamie when we get inside we're going to put you in a bed OK?"   
Jamie nodded tiredly.   
"Let's get her on some oxygen," Syd said as Jamie was wheeled into the ER. Jamie was wheeled ot an exam room and hooked up to oxygen.   
"Landon," Abby said coming into the room. "What happened?"   
"She suffered a stroke," I said looking down at Jamie.   
"I'm so sorry," Abby said. "Where's Jenna?"   
"My mom is coming on a flight with her," I told her.   
"I'll get you a chair," Abby said and disappeared from the room.   
"Landon I'm going to go upstairs and see if they have a bed," Syd said. "I need to track down Dr. Shephard anyway."   
"Ok," I said.   
Syd walked out of the room closing the door to the exam room behind her.   
"Landon I'm scared," Jamie said tears came to her eyes. She took my hand. "I don't want to leave you."   
I took her face in my hands and kissed her. "You're not going to leave me Jamie. We're going to be together forever. I'll be right back."   
Jamie nodded.   
I stood up and went out of the room. I walked up to the desk. "Carter."   
Dr. Carter turned around. "Hey Landon how's Jamie?"   
"She's hanging in there," I said. "Where's the bathroom?"   
"Down the hall," Carter said.   
  
Jamie's POV  
  
I gazed around the room with fear in my eyes. I hated hospitals and I remembered the last time I'd been in one, wehen I'd had Jenna. A smile spread across my face. I tried to sit up but couldn't I was to weak. My breathing was starting to get shallow again and I wondered where Landon was. I took several deep breaths to calm down and closed my eyes. Then I heard the door opened. Thinking it was Landon or Abby bringing back a chair for Landon. I looked toward the curtaint that Landon had closed before he left but it never opened. My curtain was thrust aside and there stood a person with red hair and a crutch, Dr. Weaver I guessed.   
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was told one of my employees was in here. Are you a patient?"   
I nodded to stunned to say anything. I swollowed and tried again. "Jamie Carter I was brought earlier this afternoon. I'm just waiting for a bed."  
Then Landon came back into the room. I heaved a sigh of relief.   
"You OK?" Landon asked. He kissed my forehead.   
"I'm fine," I said. I looked over at Dr. Weaver. "This is Landon."   
"Hi Dr. Weaver," Landon said. "I think you were in Africa the last time we were here."   
Dr. Weaver gave him a questionin look. "You were here before?"   
"Yes," I said.   
Then Abby came back into the room. "Landon upstairs just called they're waiting for you and so is Syd. Dr. Shephard just arrived."   
I closed my eyes as I was wheeled out of the room  
  
Landon's POV:   
  
I watched the nurses as they wheeled Jamie to a room in ICU.   
"Mr. Carter I'm Dr. Shephard and I'll be taking over Jamie's case. We're going to start her on some heavy antibotics to try to reduce the swelling and see if we can't get feeling back into her left side."   
"Thank you," I said. I walked into the room where Jamie was getting settled. She looked up at me her brown eyes full of fear. I embraced her in a hug and she started crying into my shoulder. "Sweetie I'm right here it'll be all right."   
"Landon I can't take this anymore," she wept. She sat up and wiped her eyes. I touched her cheek.   
"Shh," I said. "We'll get through this Jamie everything is going to be fine." I laid down on the bed with her and held her close. She looked tired and I rubbed her forehead. "Why don't you get some sleep."   
Jamie nodded and closed her eyes. Soon she drifted into a peaceful sleep. The next morning I awoke to the sound of the door opening. I looked up to see mom standing in the doorway with Jenna in her arms.   
"How is she doing?" mom asked me.   
"She's all right," I said looking at Jamie who slept peacefully. "How did this little one do?"   
"Great," mom said handing Jenna over to me. I sat down with her in the chair. "Hey there pumpkin how's my girl."   
Jamie looked over at us and smiled. "Don't spoil her to death Landon."   
"Oh she's already spoiled," I said with a smile.   
`Jamie stirred and opened her eyes. She looked over at me. "Hi. How did she do?"   
"Great," mom said. She pulled up a chair beside me. "How are you feeling Jamie?"   
"I'm all right," Jamie replied. "I still can't feel my left side very much. My left hand feels like it has a million pounds of iron on it."   
Syd came over to the bed. She took Jamie's hand. "Squeeze for me."   
Jamie tried to squeeze Syd's hand but couldn't. "I can't."   
"Its OK," Syd said. She looked at me. "Landon can I see you outside please?"   
I nodded and followed Syd out the door. "What's wrong?"   
"Landon Jamie is going to have a very hard road ahead of her and you need to be prepared for anything that may happen. Some patients become depressed."   
"Jamie isn't like that," I snapped. "She'll get through this."   
"I know she will Landon but patients who suffer stroke often go through a period of feeing as if they can't do anything."   
"How do you know?" I spat angrily. "Have you ever had a stroke?"   
Syd looked at me with a cold expression on her face. "Yes, I have had something traumatic happen to me. I was in a coma for a week with a disease called ensypolitis and I'm lucky to be practicing medicine." Syd walked away from me before I could say another word. I walked back into Jamie's room and found her asleep, my mom holding Jenna.   
"Where's Dr. Hansen?" mom asked me.   
"Syd's mad at me right now," I said sitting down in the other chair. "How is she doing?"   
"The nurse gave her something to help her sleep," She got up and handed Jenna to me. "I'm going to go find a hotel to check into. I'll be back later."   
"Bye," I said. "Mom."   
She turned around. "Yes?"   
"Thank you," I whispered.   
Mom looked at me and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.   
I sat there for a long while holding Jenna and watching Jamie sleep. I felt guilty about getting so angry at Syd but I didn't want anyone telling me how Jamie would feel, only Jamie could do that. Then I heard Jamie stir and I went over to the bed.   
"Hi," she said weakly. She looked up at me. "Where's Syd?"   
"She had to run and do something," I said. I hated lying to Jamie but I didn't want her to know about the disagreement Syd and I had had.   
Jame nodded. She tried to sit up but couldn't. I could see the frustration in her eyes and I realized that Syd had been right, Jamie was going to be emotional.   
"Jamie honey what's wrong?"   
Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Landon I can't even sit up on my own much less feed my baby. Why did this happen to me Landon? Why?"   
I put Jenna in her carrior and sat down beside Jamie wrapping my arms around her. She barried her head in my lap. "I don't know but if I could trade places with you I would. Jamie I can't stand to see you like this."   
Jamie looked up at me. "I promise I'll be better soon. Its going to take a lot of time."   
I kissed her cheek. "I'll never leave you Jamie."   
  
To be continued 


	4. Going Home

Chapter four: Going Back To Providence (Jamie's POV and Landon's POV)  
  
Landon's words oached in my head as a nurse helped me get dressed. A week had passed since I'd been moved to the Chicago hospital and now I was going home back to Providence. I looked down at my left hand. It still had no feeling in it and I wondered if would ever have any feeling in it again. Then the dor opened and Syd came into the room.   
'How are you feeling?" she asked me.   
"I'm OK," I said. "Where's Landon?"   
"He went to get a cab," Syd said. She helpd me into the wheelchair. "Are you glad to be going home?"   
"Oh yes," I said. Then Landon came back into the room.   
"The cab awaits," Landon said and I smiled. He pushed me toward the front door of the hospital and helped me get into the cab.   
"OK gang let's go," Syd said as she got into the cab after Landon. She slammed the door and the cab pulled away from the curb.   
I leaned back agsint the seat and took Landon's hand in mine. He kissed me on the cheek. "I love you," I whispered.   
Landon put a finger to my lips. "Shh don't talk just rest."   
I settled against his chest and closed my eyes. I was glad to be going home at last.  
  
I must have slept the whole flight home for when I woke up I was in another cab going home.   
"Hi sleepy bueaty," Landon said. He kissed me softly on the cheek. "We're almost home."   
I sat up with Landon's help and rubbed my eyes. The left side of my body still felt numb and I wondered if I'd ever get feeling back in it or not. Landon helped me out of the car and into the house. Syd came behind carrying Jenna. I sat down on the couch with an exhausted sigh.   
"You OK?" Landon asked me.   
I looked at him and nodded. 'Just tired and I can't feel my left side."   
"Don't worry," Syd said as she handed Janna to Landon. "We're going to get you into therapy. You'll go to the rehab center tomorrow and get signed up. I have a friend there Dr. Blake who is going to be your doctor. She's in excellent doctor and many patients have responded well to her."   
I nodded to sleepy to care. "Thank you," I whispered as I drifted off to sleep. My miracle was finally coming true.   
  
To be continued..   
  
Hey everyone,   
Sorry this so was so short. The next chapter will be longer I promise. If anyone has any ideas please put them into a review. I NEED IDEAS!! I'm currently working on a new Providence fan fic as well and that will be up soon. Happy reading and please r/r and as i always say NO FLAMES PLEASE!! 


	5. Whatever it takes

Whatever it Takes: Chapter five:   
  
As i helped Jamie into bed I realized that she still had a long way to go before she was completely normal again. The realization of that fact brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't stand to see her suffer and I would have given anything to make it go away for her. Jenna's crying snapped me out of my daydream and I went into the living room to find Syd on the couch withh her.   
"Is Jamie asleep?" Syd asked me.   
"Yeah," I replied. I sat down on the couch beside her and took Jenna. "I just can't stand to see her like this."   
"I know," Syd whispered. "She's really lucky to have you."   
I smiled. I rubbed Jenna's back until she calmed down a little. I got up and put her in her crib.   
"I'll go see if dinner is ready," Syd said. "I'll bring you back some."   
"Thanks," I said softly. I could barely talk because I was so exhausted and worried about Jamie.   
Syd looked at me and then walked out of the house closing the door behind her. I walked nto Jamie's room to find her awake staring at the wall.   
"Hi," she said softly.   
I went over to the bed and sat down beside her, rubbing her cheek. "How are you feeling?"   
"Tired," she admitted. She took my hand. "I'm going to beat this Landon I'll be better soon."   
I hugged her. "I know honey I know you will."   
  
An hour later Syd came back with our dinner. I helped Jamie into the living room because she was still so weak and the left side of her body still had no feeling in it. I sat her down and helped her eat while feeding myself at the same time. Tears came to my eyes as I watched Jamie struggle with what once a simple task. She must have noticed my mood because she took my hand and looked into my eyes. She had that same look in her eyes as she did the day i asked her to marry me.   
"Landon don't cry for me," she said softly. She took my hand. "Whatver happens happens for a reason. God knows what he's doing."   
I smiled and kissed her on the lips. Jamie always had a way of making the worst situations not seem so frightening. After we finished eating I took her back to our room where she fell asleep almost instently. I then walked into the living room where Syd was sitting on the couch holding Jenna.   
"Isn't there something you can do for her?" I asked Syd. I sat down on the couch beside me.   
"Jamie will need to start physical therapy. Landon we may need to send Jamie to Friends Rehab. Its where my father went when he got shot. Its a day time thing but they also have around the clock care."   
"Are you saying I should put Jamie in that place full time? She'll hate it."   
"I know but if she's going to beat this thing then she's going to have to have help, professional help," Syd said. "I know how hard this is for you Landon.But the sooner we get Jamie started on therapy the sooner she'll recover."   
  
A few days later Syd took Jamie and me to the rehab center. The people there were nice and I could tell that Jamie would fit right in. I didn't tell her that she would have to stay overnight because I didn't want to upset her. I looked around the place as I wheeled Jamie through the double doors. The room was small but neat. There was a door leading to what I guessed was the rec room.   
"Hi I'm Lauren Kay," Lauren said. "I'll be Jamie's therapist."   
"Hi," Jamie said softly. She took my hand. "Are you going to make me better?"   
"Yes we're going to try but only if you're willing to work hard," Lauren said.   
Jamie nodded. "I am. I want to beat this thing."   
"Follow me," Lauren said. She took Jamie's wheelchair from me and started pushing her toward the door.   
I followed then into the rec room and looked around. The room was huge with high windows. Jamie seemed lost by all this and I knew she was wondering what was going on.   
"Landon am I going to have to stay here?" she asked as we rode up the elevator to a different floor.   
"Just for a little while," I said as Lauren pushed her into a well lit room.   
"Don't worry Jamie you'll be in good hands," Lauren assured us. "And the more you strenghten that arm and leg the sooner you can get out of here and take care of that baby of yours.   
"How did you know I had a child?" Jamie asked looking at her therapist with keen interest.   
"Dr. Hansen filled me in on your condition and told me to get you better fast," Lauren said.   
I could tell that Lauren was going to work wonders with Jamie. I bent down to her. She looked scared and I wished I could take the pain away for her.   
"Landon please don't leave," Jamie begged. Tears came to her eyes. "Please bring Jenna here."   
"I can't do that Jamie," I said almost in tears myself. I hated telling Jamie no. "But don't worry you'll be out of here soon."   
"I'm scared Landon," Jamie said softly. She took my hand. "What if I never get over this."   
I took her face into my hands. "You will Jamie. God is watching over you."   
Jamie smiled. "I love you Landon."   
I kissed her on the forehead. "I love you too Jamie. I'll be back later OK?"   
Jamie nodded and I walked out of the room. I felt like I was leaving a child behind. Jamie looked so pale and weak I just wanted to hold her in my arms and not let her go. Taking a deep breath I walked toward the elevator. Once again I was walking away from the one person who had had faith in me when I knew I couldn't do anything and that person was Jamie Sullivan Carter.   
  
Chapter six: I can do anything with God's help:   
  
Watching Landon go I felt a strong sense of longing. I knew that if he stayed I'd never get anything done but I didn't want him to leave. I felt so alone, so scared and so out of place.   
"Syd is going to help you get settled," Lauren explained. "And I'll be back for you in about an hour. We'll start with a light session today and then work harder each day. Don't worry Jamie you're going to beat this thing."   
I nodded trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come down my cheeks. I'd asked God the same question over and over again, Why me? Why did this have to happen to me. Everything was going so well.   
"Honey I know you're scared," Syd said as she helped me over to the bed. I felt exhausted and warn out. "But people at Friends are probably the best doctors I know. And knowing Landon he will be here every single day. You won't ever be alone."   
I nodded. "Then why does it feel like that," I sobbed. "I can't do this Syd."   
"Yes, you can," Syd said. She put an arm around me. "Just have faith that's all you need. And Landon will help and so will I. Together we will beat this thing."   
  
Syd's words stuck in my head as Lauren wheeled me back into the rec room. She started me off with doing leg excercices and hand ones too. After about an hour I was completely exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep.   
"Ok kiddo times up," Lauren said. "Just remember we're going to be pushing you a lot harder so we can get you out of here as fast as we can Ok?"   
I nodded to tired to give a reply. Lauren wheeled me back up to my room and helped me into bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow to tired to even think about eating dinner. This went on for almost two weeks. Landon came to see me everyday and spent as much time as he could with me. I was improving and could move my hand just a little. My leg was still weak but with Lauren's help I was able to stand up on it for about a minute.   
"You're doing great Jamie," Landon said as we sat on the back porch of the rec room. We were sitting on the swing.   
I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you. I miss you Landon."   
Landon kissed the top of my head. "I miss you too you don't know how much."   
I looked up at him. He looked so lost and so scared. I wanted him with me so I could have at least one familar face here at Friends.   
  
A month went by and I was finally released and able to go home. I could walk on my left foot with a cane and my left hand was doing beter as well. Landon came to pick me up on a warm Friday morning at ten AM. I was sitting in the chair in my room by the window when he appeared in the doorway.   
"Ready to go?" he asked me.   
"Am I ever. Where's Jenna?"   
"With Joanie," Landon said as he helped me into the wheelchair. I was sitll sort of weak.   
"I'm ready to get out of here," I said as Landon wheeled me to the elevator to go down to the lobby.   
"And I"m ready to have you home," Landon said.   
  
When we reached home I'd never been so happy to see anyone as I had Jenna. I held her in my arms for a long time. The Hansens cooked us dinner celebrating the fact that I was finally home. I smiled as I looked at the people siting around me. Without them I don't know where I'd be. I looked over at Syd who was smiling at me. She had been right, I can do anything with God's help.   
  
Author's note: Sorry this was so short but I wanted to finish it so I could start on another story. I have so many different stories going its not even funny. I'm fixing to add another chapter to A Trip Far Away. Its going to get very exciting so check back.   
  
Providencelover 


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